Trust…

I’ll try to keep this post simple.

I don’t trust anyone but maybe 5 people I’d trust more than 90%. If that..everyone else I just know I can’t. I guess you can say I have a strong gut feeling about people. Which is why I don’t care about trying to make a ton of friends. I have 1 person that knows everything. My deepest fears, pains, stresses, heartaches and dreams. My complete life story basically and I know they won’t use it against me. They trust me equally.

That’s what I like but a lot of people like to lie. I don’t lie to you why should you be lying to me? What’s the point? How is it going to make anything better? On top of it how long will you keep lying to me? Is it fun? Do you really have to do it? Is the plan to hurt a person that has done nothing to you?

I always find out. Always because back to what I said before I get a feeling about things. I can’t shake it until I find out what it is.

Then when I find out of course I’m going to be upset. It was hidden from me. I don’t care if it’s “not that bad” but the fact that I was lied to. That I can’t get over.

A white lie eh…whatever but if you know it’s going to bother me somehow especially emotionally DO NOT LIE TO ME OR HIDE IT. When people hide things they tend to lie. It pisses me off and all the trust is gone. Every single bit of it just poof. To earn it back will take longer than we have known each other if ever.

It’s frustrating beyond words. I’m not doing it to you yet you think it’s completely fine to do so to me. It’s not. At all. I also have to think about my health. Stress is not good at all. I end up with flare ups that are horrible. I rather people be upfront about whatever it is.

Me catching you lying though? Can’t even talk your way out of it because I know at that moment you already lied more than once to my face like nothing is wrong. While knowing I would be hurt. Making it all wrong.

For that. I just can’t. I draw a line deep in the concrete. Take my niceness as a weakness if you want. Testing my patience will not end well.