2 years in Korea

I’m alive. 

Barely. I’ll explain later.

Today makes it two years since I arrived in Korea for the second time. Amazing how fast time flew. I’ve learned and done a lot within 2 years. Sometimes it feels like it is a long time then other times it seems like a short amount of time. I wonder how it would feel if I spent 5 or 10 or 20 years here?

I think I have grown into hmm…the person I really am? I haven’t really changed much just a few things. I tend to speak my mind a bit more and just avoid drama as much as possible. Also even though things happen constantly to stress me out, I try to do deal with it then and move on instead of dwelling on the issue. If I did I’d be in a deep depression. I can’t afford that.

How am I right now? 

I’m pretty happy here in Korea. Nothing to complain about besides the heat maybe?

 It’s all the stuff going on back home with my family. I feel like I have two separate lives somehow because I feel responsible for them. It’s taking it’s toll out on me. I’m exhausted in every way possible. Physically, financially. Mostly emotionally and mentally. I just feel…nevermind it doesn’t matter.

Will I be ok? Yeah, I have no choice but to suck it up and move on. Even if I feel a bit depressed right now. I have to be ok even if I don’t want to be.

I had my moment of tears for a few minutes and now I have a headache. I hate crying. Those few minutes were too long. ugh.

Anyways, life is life. Sometimes I wish I had a shoulder to cry on, but eh~

So I’m baking brownies and going to watch some movies or some comedians while relaxing. Thank goodness I’m on “vacation” even though I’m not really going anywhere. Can’t even afford it. *sigh* oh well. One day in the future hopefully I can go somewhere and not feel guilty about spending the money I worked for on myself. 

I shall cut this short before I feel completely horrible about everything. I should be happy. I wish to be happy again without all this stress. Maybe in another life time. Maybe…

Until next time~